I know a lot of people saw this headline and thought, “Ugh, another person saying why people shouldn’t get married young because everyone in the world is getting married and having kids after high school and in college.”
Well, it’s true. I think more than half the people I see on my Facebook timeline and Instagram feed are much too young to be with one person for the rest of their lives, let alone have kids together.
Because I’m pretty sure I saw you just posting a pic of you flashing your tits and doing keg stands with your homies not too long ago, passing blunts around… but…
Anyways, the later that people decide to lock it down with another person, the more likely they are to stay with them forever. People are constantly evolving. You weren’t the same person you were 10 years ago, so what makes you think you will be the same person 10 years from now? You won’t be. And chances are, your partner won’t be either.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some fabulous marriages that end up working out if two people get married in their early 20s. Not saying it never works. Just saying, chances are better when you wait.
Which brings me to the point of this article…
Here’s some pretty kick-ass reasons why you SHOULD wait til after 25:
- You have a chance to figure out your own life: You need to be able to live on your own, independently, and figure out what YOUR goals are.
- Finish school: Your partner can get up and walk out of your life, but your knowledge will never leave you.
- Get established in your career: Be a boss. Work up that ladder to get to that dream job. Dreams can sometimes get put on hold when we have romantic endeavors that can get in the way.
- The first person who says they love you, probably won’t love you forever: Of course, there are exceptions, but we most likely won’t marry the first person we fall in love with. It sucks and it hurts. But we need to go through heartbreak at least once.
- Learn to not be needy: Getting locked down early means we probably don’t have the level of independence or self-love we should have. Time waiting will help fix that.
- Get over the “game-playing” stage: We tend to not take relationships all that seriously early on and like playing stupid games. Don’t act like you’ve never been in one of those relationships.
- Kiss a lot of frogs: Test the waters. We need to figure out what type of person we like, and we do that by dating around.
- Get some experimenting in: Again, test those waters. You never know what you will or won’t enjoy if you don’t get the time to try it out.
- Learn to be you wholly and unapologetically: Basically, love yourself before you let someone else love you first. Take the attitude of “This is me. If you don’t like it, then leave.”
- Work on yourself: We are all flawed and there are all things we can work on. Personally, I want to be able to give my partner the best version of me possible.
- Find some BFFs: Friends will help you learn what you love. They can provide companionship in a way that your partner won’t. Plus, relationships early on tend to replace a lot of our friendships because we get so wrapped up and infatuated with our partners too soon. We all know that one friend that always disappears when they get into a relationship…
- Learn to listen to your intuition: There have been so many relationships I’ve been in where I didn’t listen to my gut feeling… and it ended up blowing up in my face. SO many times where my heart would tell me to get out and leave the relationship and I didn’t. The older you get, the less likely you are to put up with anymore bullshit.
- Maturity comes with age: The older someone is, the more seriously they take their relationship.
- Wait for the one who treats you like you always dreamed of being treated: Again, those who wait are more likely to appreciate the relationships they are in and will value that other person much more than a younger couple.
- Gain financial independence: Get that paper. Don’t rely on your partner’s income. Be a boss on your own. #Powercouple
- Learn to cook: Part of gaining independence and adulting on your own. Plus, who doesn’t want a hubby or wife who can cook a BOMB ass meal?
- Get family time in (without creating one of your own): You will slowly fade away from your family the older you get. Life gets in the way. You start to have an independent life of your own. And your immediate family won’t be around forever. Get that family time in!
- Call your own shots: Don’t rely on someone else to make your life decisions. Make choices that are fully your own. It will make you a happier person.
- Travel on your own: Experience the world alone. It will help you find who you are, what you like, what you envision with your future partner. You will meet new people, and try new things.
- Rely on yourself: #allthesingleladies
- Impress yourself: Do things that make YOU proud. Do things for you and only you.
- Learn to rely on your own approval: Decision making for yourself. Not for your friends, not for your mom, not for your boo-thang. For YOU.
- Figure out what you want in a partner: This ties back in to the kissing a lot of frogs point. By dating around, you will learn what you enjoy in another person. And the older you get, the more you’ll have yourself figured out.
- Make mistakes: Making mistakes when you are younger is much more forgivable than when you’re older and there is more at stake. Get those kinks out!
- Get your single jitters out: Be a ho with your friends. In the words of Slim Shady, “You’re young, you’ve got a lot of drugs to do, girls to screw, parties to crash, sucks to be you”… “But I’ve still got a lot of growing up to do, I’ve still got a lot of throwing up to spew.”
Or you could just never settle and be like grandma here…