Getting together with a group of friends and telling each other how “so and so” tried to ask you out on a date and then explaining your internal reaction to this person’s attempt is an ab workout all on its own.
But this week, I’m going to break out of the typical circle of friends I share this information with and share it with all of you instead!
As someone who identifies as a heterosexual female, getting hit on by guys from all walks of life is something many others can relate to, whether you are attracted to men, women, or whatever other sexual orientation or gender tickles your fancy.
Now, I am a pretty selective woman when it comes to agreeing to go out on a date with someone. Lunch or dinner with a friend doesn’t count.
I mean a REAL date, with someone I THINK I might want something more than just a purely platonic relationship with.
When someone asks me out on a real date, it is very obvious if I am trying to avoid you. Like I’ve mentioned in a lot of my posts before, if someone is really into you, they will make the effort to spend time with you. If I don’t make the effort, that should be a sign that I’m just not that into you. Harsh, I know, but it’s the cold truth that just needs to be unmasked.
Yes, I am a busy person; but I am never too busy to make the time to get to know someone and share my life with someone one day. Many say I am a workaholic, and yes, it’s true. I value my vision of one day building an empire and achieving all of my goals, but what’s the point in having everything you could ever want if you have no one to share your success with?
So I do make time for people if I really am interested in dating them. It’s just that I am not interested in 95 percent of the people who ask me out. So here are some of the lame, mostly untrue, but very much used excuses I’ve told people to get out of going on a date:
(I never drink, so this is entirely untrue)
I have too many articles to edit.
(I do edit a lot of articles, but for the right person, I would take a break)
I locked my keys in my car.
(Ha! I know so many people who have actually done this and had to miss a date… but no, my keys are probably lost somewhere else in the house and I’m just too comfy to move)
I’m cooking at home.
(I don’t cook, I love spending money to go out and eat)
I have to get up early tomorrow.
(For the right person, I would sacrifice a few hours of sleep)
I’m out of town.
(No I’m not)
Sorry, haven’t been near my phone to see that you texted me.
(I always have my phone on me)
Sorry, I was on the phone with my mom and didn’t see your text.
(I probably was on the phone with my mom, but I definitely saw that you texted me)
I’m so tired from work, I think I am just going to stay in tonight.
(I’m not that tired from working)
My friend needs me to come pick him/her up. It’s an emergency.
(Never once happened)
I have a boyfriend.
(Definitely do not have a boyfriend)
(I’m not, but if you don’t know that, I’m using this excuse and you can think I am gay… not a problem for me)
I got called in to work.
(Okay, sometimes this is true, but most of the time, it’s not)
My car broke down.
(Nope, it’s definitely chillin’ in the garage)
*cough cough* I’m sick.
(Have to say it in the Mean Girls voice)
I haven’t gone to the gym in a few days so I need to go tonight.
(Anyone who knows me, knows I don’t skip the gym for a few days…and for a date I am actually interested in, I would skip one day and have it be my cheat day)
I’ve heard plenty of other excuses used to get out of going out with someone like:
I’m being deported.
I have to give my goldfish a bath.
I told my car I would tenderly rub wax all over its body.
Oprah is on, I have to watch.
I have to go… over… there.
I’m busy for the next few hours switching out all the laces on my shoes.
I’m trying to cut down.
It‘s my dog’s birthday.
The man on TV told me to stay tuned.
My mom wouldn’t approve.
My brother’s friend’s mom’s nephew is sick and I have to go take care of him.
I’ve never used any from that second list, but they’re funny… so I should… I may reserve those ones for the right person someday soon.
Don’t lie, we’ve all made up excuses to get out of situations we don’t want to be in. It’s okay. It makes us human and these things happen to the best of us. I am not ashamed.
One thought on “The Excuses I’ve Made To Get Out Of Dates”
Another good one now that you’re in the biz: (puts phone to ear) “uh huh? Yeah! Oh my god really!? Ok I’ll be right there!” Damnnnn on call and there’s a school on fire.